Issue 17: Gone But Not Forgotten
HANDBAGS AT DAWN // Let's take a step back and focus on what's important in the world right now – the power of goodbye.
Handbags at Dawn (@h4ndbagsatdawn) is (meant to be) a fortnightly newsletter that lands into your inbox every other Thursday – around lunchtime, London-time.
Soooo, you probably haven’t noticed but it’s been four weeks since I last published one of these. And before you start asking – no, this wasn’t because I was in mourning. It’s been almost a month since I last wrote to you because I’ve been busy. And not like ‘omg I’m so busy, I have so much to do but I end up simply panicking and nothing’. For once, I was actually busy living my absolute best life. First being with family, then working and pretending to be Alexa Chung, then going to a friend’s wedding and then working but also swimming in a pool. In the words of the inimitable Lisa Stansfield, I’ve been around the world and ay, ay, ay… Okay, I’ve only been to Croatia, Spain & Portugal, but you get the gist. And now that we’ve gotten the bragging portion of this newsletter covered, it’s time to talk about the hottest topic of the moment: farewells.
I’ve always been the kind of person that attaches emotional value and personality traits to inanimate objects. Before I was talking to my bags and addressing them with she/her pronouns, I spent most of my childhood obsessively playing with Barbies and creating arguments between them and the gaggle of Action Men who were otherwise completely boring. It’s funny how kids are encouraged to play with their toys by giving them characteristics, but then are suddenly expected to completely drop this behaviour and focus on reality as they grow up. I don’t think so. Anyway, I’m not here to change the curriculum of kids’ playtime, I just want to stress how silly it is to expect adults to start treating their dearest possessions as disposable.
Full disclosure: I find saying goodbye to my bags really difficult. Perhaps it’s the idea of becoming a collector (lord, who do I think I am, Alex Fury?) one day and opening the most eclectic – khm, neurotic – exhibition of purses in the world. But that just might be an excuse of someone who consistently fears of becoming a hoarder. Someone who has spent sleepless nights on Google, trying to decipher the difference between a collector and a hoarder. Apparently, it’s mainly the level of self-importance, as well as the amount of wealth and living space you have. However, there’s a sense of sadness that overwhelms me when I think about getting rid of one of my bags. The most similar feeling is when I found out that one of my dear friends waa moving to Australia. I know their life is continuing, and so is mine, but the obvious lack of contact and the possibility of never seeing them again brings feelings of sorrow and loss.
Over the past month, I visited many vintage and second hand stores. And this feeling of saying goodbye to an object I might never see again propped up several times – not just over bags, but also clothes, shoes and jewellery. For purely logistical reasons of: a) not being able to fit all of it in my suitcase(s) and b) not having infinite money, I had to say no to buying most of them. And over time, as the sentiment of leaving something behind repeated itself over and over again, I found something quite romantic about the idea of never seeing this bag/shoe/scarf/shirt never again. Maybe this makes me eligible for a psychiatric ward, but bidding farewell and waving at this object, like I do when leaving a place I really loved, made me feel better. Like I do with those friends crossing the ocean, I wished them well and hoped we meet again. And if/when we do, I probably won’t be able to resist them the second time round.
As I type this from my hotel room in Porto, just minutes before having to check out (seriously, I got to run so please excuse any typos) I’m wondering if I could apply this idea to my own wardrobe. Will I be able to go back to London, look at my overstuffed cupboard and say buh-bye to one or even a few of my bags? I sure do hope so. If the past few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that farewells shouldn’t be taken so seriously, however emotional and major they might feel at first. Stopping the world over this one bag can only make all the other bags feel sad about themselves. Are they not enough? I think they are – and their bag lives are no less important than those of the bags born into wealth, privilege and royalty… oh wait, this was supposed to be all about bags. xxx
ps. No ‘PEEK OF THE WEEK’ in this issue because it’s fashion month and most people are far too busy to take photos of their bags.