Issue 13: Are You Beach Baggy Ready?
HANDBAGS AT DAWN // Let's talk about a piece of luggage that taught me a life lesson and changed my general outlook on life. And no, I'm not being dramatic...
Handbags at Dawn (@h4ndbagsatdawn) is a fortnightly newsletter that lands into your inbox every other Thursday, around lunchtime.
I don't consider myself to be a particularly practical person… but I do sometimes try to act rational, at least when it comes to choosing bags for certain occasions. But you know who doesn’t? Fashion designer and general icon Marc Jacobs, especially if it’s 2009 and he’s in Saint Barts. Coming on the back of some of his most critically panned collections at Louis Vuitton, this man simply desired a bit of tropical rest. You know, your regular holiday rotation of piña coladas, hot holiday sex and young families scream fighting just metres away from your towel. What he got, though, was also an army of paparazzi going wild! And no, it wasn’t the fact that Jacobs was hanging out with his then-fiancé and now-OnlyFans superstar, Italian stud Lorenzo Martone. It also wasn’t the super-toned physique he was showing off in a pair of black trunks. It was in fact something far more climactic that caught the attention of the world. Strolling down the sandy Caribbean shore and frolicking in the sea, Marc Jacobs was holding one of the most unexpected partners one might bring to the beach – an Hermès Birkin.
Like some people might describe a poignant experience of seeing an important play, the first time watching an iconic film or seeing their favourite act perform live, this moment in time was a formative experience that keeps playing back in my mind, even today. You could almost say it scarred me for life… but like, in a good way. This might have been 13 years ago, yet I remember it as if it was yesterday. How? Why? Is he okay? So many different questions came to mind as I scrolled through the blurry photos of Marc Jacobs with the most expensive bag in the world casually lying in the sand as he reads a book and catches a tan. I might not have fully understood the social capital of a Birkin but I definitely grasped its context thanks to the bag’s widely publicised price tag. Apparently, this was a big deal.
Jacobs’ choice of literature was just as poignant – like a matching pair of shoes that went with a bag, he was reading Too Much Money, a novel by Dominick Dunne. I don’t have much of an idea of its plot, and I have a feeling Jacobs didn’t care much about it either. It was all about the title and honestly, you can’t tell me this isn’t the best f*ck you to the whole world for judging Marc Jacobs over his ‘controversial’ lifestyle choices – from rehabs and boyfriends to over-the-top designs which Sarah Mower once described as “confusion”. This is a person who wasn’t just willing to accept the label of an eccentric. Instead, he took things into his own hands by making himself even more controversial thanks to some pretty obscene bag choices.
And yes, that’s plural – the designer didn’t only bring one Hermès bag to his hols. In addition to his classic black leather one, Jacobs also brought out the Shadow Birkin, a sleek, trompe-l'œil effect bag which had the straps and hardware seamlessly incorporated into the body of the bag. Today, this model of the Birkin is one of those rare unicorns, with a resale price reaching upwards of £40,000. But to be fair to him, he did perch his Shadow Birkin on a towel that was lying on a chair.
While seeing these photos didn’t make me wish to have a Birkin one day (it was the Lucy Liu episode of Sex and the City that did it), they definitely made me realise that being unapologetically ridiculous was equal parts tacky and fabulous. Just because people cherish and obsess over certain ideas or rules, it doesn’t mean you have to as well. Too much money or simply not enough, this behaviour represents a sense of resilience I feel like everyone could use a bit of on a daily basis, even when getting up in the morning. If Marc Jacobs could take a Birkin to the beach, why can’t you ask that hot person a date? If Marc Jacobs could take a Birkin to the beach, why can’t you eat another bag of Percy Pigs and not feel like a pig? If Marc Jacobs could take a Birkin to the beach, why can’t you buy yet another vintage bag you definitely do not need? If ever in need of a pep talk, just remember this momentous era in December 2009 when Marc Jacobs first took his Birkin to the beach. In a way, the world has never been the same since… xxx
*PEEK OF THE WEEK*
I wish there was a way of asking Marc Jacobs about the contents of his beach Birkin baby. Did he use Nivea factor 50? Was there a frozen bottle of water so he can drink cold liquid throughout his day on the beach? Sadly, we’ll probably never know. But what we do know is that Lara Johnson-Wheeler (@laraletticejw) has great taste in bags. I say that with utter confidence as our eBay wishlists overlap greatly. A journalist, editor and broadcaster who skilfully navigates the worlds of fashion and arts, Lara is also dear friend who has unknowingly been my opponent in numerous bidding wars on eBay, one of them being over the bag below. Sadly for me, but luckily for her, she was the lucky winner who took home a vintage, dusky pink python-print Tom Ford-era Gucci Jackie. Did I let out a tear when I first saw her walk into the room with it on her shoulder? Absolutely. But she also has a way of carrying it that makes it feel effortless and modern so touché. Putting my bitterness aside, let’s see what’s inside, shall we?
What does the inside of your bag say about you?
Lara: “The confusion inside this bag probably correctly says that my capacity cup overfloweth. But maybe all I need is time, a moment that is mine, while I'm in-between? I watched the bag for 9 months before I won it in a highly competitive bid war conducted on the loo at Stansted. Re-watching the 2002 cult classic Crossroads and spotting the same design tucked under Zoe Saldaña's arm [screenshot below] pushed me over the edge to obtain said bag. When I wear it, I feel like I could also win big at cash-tip karaoke, drive my girlies down the highway singing Shania (I can't drive) and finally pen a piece as relatable as I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman.”